When's My Turn?

I have finished writing to my friend Susie
whom has lived in the beauty of a Minnesota
snowstorm for two days. She takes pictures
then. She finds good in everything somehow.

I have finished sending my daughter in Abilene
the collage of pictures of her beautiful home
that I snapped on Thanksgiving and arranged
the best of them to mail.

I have written my Sister in California about
my trip there that is exactly one week from
beginning. I will be there on the night of
her husband’s birthday party.

This home is silent, save the sound of me
typing, with my boy leaving very early to
work and his wife and baby still sleeping.
I will see his face only seven more evenings.

Looking at everything I have to start packing,
I realize how little there really is anymore.
The bed is not my own, the chairs are
not mine, the small table is not mine.
My belongings now consist of the pictures
of my family on the walls of this long narrow
room, this small computer, a camera, the
necessary items for a man's bathroom, a
few treasured trinkets I have managed to
keep with me and the clothing I wear.

I nearly forgot to mention the old car I bought
here. It has to get me through this trip and
I just know it will.
This trip is part of destiny and surely an
old car would not interrupt that, would it?

I was going to end this for now but I just
noticed: my chest, my heart has stopped
it’s aching. As I read what I just wrote I start
to understand that a great big part of peace
is acceptance.

I have accepted.

The fight is over.

Now I will go my way with the knowledge that
someday everyone is humbled. Those “plenty
of money, big homes and easy living” years
are over. It is my turn to understand being
humbled, and just in time.
I hope I’m a better man for it and I know this
morning what the “warmth of contentment” means.

Those I leave behind I need not worry myself
about. This time will come for them also.
I know this because, you, yourself, have
nothing to do with when the clock chimes,
only the one that continues to unfold life’s
map can say:

“Now” “It’s your turn”

© Bobby 2003